As If We Never Said Goodbye
by HermioneGrangerTwin
Summary: It was a world to rediscover. But at that moment, I wasn't in any hurry.


As If We Never Said Goodbye

A/N: The song, "As If We Never Said Goodbye" from the musical Sunset Boulevard, composed by Andrew Lloyd Webber, inspired this fic. Little quotes from the song are in it and the ideas for most of the bits about Hogwarts are taken from the song and modified with many memories from Hermione. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own "As If We Never Said Goodbye". It is property of Andrew Lloyd Webber and Really Useful Group.

I entered the Great Hall with trepidation and shook my head at my own foolishness. I'd been here for six years. I knew my way around. I would be fine. I knew the familiar stone walls and the vaulted ceilings. The sound of students laughing fills my ears. It had been more than a year since I was here as a student. God, had it really been only that? It felt like years, decades since I'd worn these robes, carried a bag full of books, filled my head with dates and spells, and worried about exams.

Yes, it was a world to rediscover. I would soon be hurrying to classes and dinner and to study and to the library. But at that moment, I wasn't in any hurry. My eyes filled with tears. I was back. I needed a moment with Hogwarts. Just a moment to acclimatize again. This year, I would have to find my way without Ron and Harry.

As I sat down to dinner, I thought of Ron, sitting at home,―probably watching football, his newfound love, with Harry in our flat―and smiled. I would miss him this year. I'd never done anything without him or Harry in seven years. How could I not miss them? The tears gathered again, but I would not allow myself to cry. Not here, not now. I'd wait until I got into my Head Girl suite and written Ron. Then, I would cry. I sat cheerfully through dinner, listening half-heartedly to Ginny's conversation with the ones around us. She was quite the popular girl after all she'd done last year. It would be harder than usual to keep the boys away.

I finished dinner early and made to leave. Ginny looked at me with concern, but nodded, knowing I needed to be alone for a while. I came to my room and found Pig cooing softly, dropping a parcel on my bed. I almost screamed and made a dash into the room, practically ripping the letter attached to the parcel off.

_Dear Hermione,_

_As you can see, I've sent you a parcel. I know truly understand why parents do it. It's not because they think that the little midgets need sweets and gifts, but because they don't want you to forget them and how much they love you while you're gone. So, I've enclosed a few things that you left behind with me and something I think you'll enjoy._

_ With Love Always,_

_ Ron_

_P.S. Don't feed the owl. He's hyper enough as it is._

I giggled and opened the parcel, placing a carefully wrapped item aside. There was also a Weasley sweater with a brief note: _In case you get cold._ And some of my favorite Sugar Quills in various flavors and sizes. I smiled at the corn involved in all of this. At the bottom, I found parchment still in the shrink-wrap. The label stated it was a WWW product.

_Wish you could get an answer back immediately? Now you can with WWW's Quik-Write parchment! Write a message down and the owner of the opposite parchment can see your message immediately. Message Notifier not included._

I opened the wrapper eagerly and placed it on my desk.

_Ron, are you there?_

I waited in anticipation for a response, and received his scrawl only moments later.

_Yes. How's Hogwarts?_

_ The same. And the flat?_

_ The same. Well, quieter. You know, without you here I might actually have some peace._

_ You know, Ron, without me, you may actually never have sex again._

_ Point taken._

I laughed at his quick response and grinned.

_Did you finish opening your parcel?_

I looked back at the bed. _No, I didn't open the specially wrapped item. The parchment distracted me._

_ Open it._

_ Ron, if you've bought me jewelry_

He began to write under me. _Just go open it._

I went back to the bed and unwrapped the last piece. I found a small mirror, square and plain with only small bronze edging.

_A mirror? That's the last bit? I'm not going to forget what I look like._

_ Hermione._ I could almost hear him sighing with the message. _It's not just a mirror. Don't you remember?_

I had no clue to what he was referring. He took my lack of response as a no.

_And I thought I was the thick one. Call my name into it._

I looked at the piece of glass. No. It couldn't be. I called his name, holding the mirror close to my body. His face appeared in the glass.

"_Ron_." I breathed, my vision fogged with tears.

"It's really great to see you Hermione," he joked, trying, as always, to lighten the mood.

And with that, a tear leaked out and fell onto the mirror, causing his image to blur. I immediately wiped it away with my sleeve.

"Whoa! Have you dripped water on me?" He chuckled at his own joke. "You just saw me, what, six maybe seven hours ago. We see each other less than that when I'm at work. Don't cry on me."

"It's been eight hours, for your information," I choked out, wiping my face. "And at home, I know I'll see you when I get home. Why didn't you tell me you were doing this?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise." He smiled. "I didn't know you were going to cry on me. Literally."

"Well, of course I'm going to cry! I thought I wasn't going to see you until the next Hogsmeade visit."

"There's Quidditch games, too," he reassured. "But I feel the need to remind you that this will make it harder on you."

"What will?" I asked, not sure how anything could be bad about this.

"You won't get to touch me."

I think for a few moments on the implications of this. "So?"

"So," he counters. "You'll see me all the time, but you won't be able to touch me. You'll hear my voice, but my lanky body isn't really attached to it. I want you to think of how much you touch me when you talk to me, even before we were together."

I thought back. Oh, God. Always a touch on his hand, on his back, on his knee, on his arm, on his shoulder. "Oh God."

"And what if I say something that well…you know. Not a single touch. Just what you've got right here. And you can't rush off at lunch and call me or during your free periods, or before dinner, or after dinner, or any time you've got a minute. You can't forget you have studies. You have homework. And I have work."

"Ron," I whine. "But I miss you already. Seeing you makes me realize how much."

He set his face, refusing to give in to my complaints. "Exactly. So, I suggest you stick to letter writing or talking by the parchment. And if you _have_ to make a call, do not do so unless you have time to sit down and write a letter. _After_ all your homework is done."

"Why do you have to be such a tyrant?" I asked, thinking of all the potential this mirror had. He was depriving me of all the potential.

"Because I have been given the role of your guardian by your father."

"I can take care of myself, thank you very much! My father knows that! I have always finished my studies before pleasure! Always and you know, you men are all like that, thinking I need help and protection. I _don't_! I can do just as well on my own!" I ranted, angry that I was being treated like a wayward lovesick child. "And you! You have been at my side for how long? Seven years? And you have the gall to question my focus? How dare you?"

"Hermione," Ron interrupted, trying to calm you. "I know. I just feel the need to set the ground rules. I don't want you to be mad at yourself because you could have done better. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I said, surly.

"Good," he said, his face softening. "I miss you a lot, love."

"I miss you too," I said quietly, touching the mirror at the edge of the pane. "I don't know what I'm going to do without you and Harry."

"We don't know what we're going to do without you either. Just try to have fun with Ginny and Luna, this year. Okay?"

I sighed. "I'll try."

"Good. I don't want to catch you slacking." I opened my mouth to argue that I was not the slacker and continue my tirade. "I'm just kidding, love. Don't get mad."

"You know," I said, shaking my head at him. "Your joking is making me less and less attracted to calling you all the time."

"I'm glad," he said, laughing. "I'll have to try harder from now on to take the mickey out of you."

----

The next morning I woke up and dressed early, wishing to go downstairs and observe the school. I grabbed some toast and sat in a windowsill on the first floor, watching students rush by me in my seat. As time neared eight, I saw throngs approaching the door, whispers being exchanged between couples and friends in the over-crowded hallway. It was just as exciting as the first day of your first year; you could almost feel the magic surging in the place, much more than you did when you were younger. It was thrilling to see the early morning madness again. Everything was as if I never left.

How many days had I spent in the tent, wishing I could be here instead? Too many to count, I'd say. I wanted to come back. I missed Hogwarts so terribly.

Missed the olden days when I was young with Ron and Harry, walking hungrily down the corridor, longing for knowledge. The adventures that were easier and seemed almost fun had been scintillating, but seemed so long ago now, overshadowed by the horror of the last year. I left my place in the window and go into the Great Hall, taking my place beside Ginny.

"Enjoy your parcel?" she asked, as if in passing.

"You knew?" I asked, irritated, my hand pausing over the sausages. "You knew all along and you never told me?"

"Of course I knew! Ron told Harry and Harry told me. And then Ron told me, but I was to keep it a secret. He said if I told, he would make sure that I never 'had fun' with Harry again." She placed quotes around "had fun". I look at her and almost laugh. It sounds so much like Ron. He pretends to be dirty, but he's embarrassed to say anything remotely sexual. One of his more entertaining qualities.

It was almost time to go to class and my heart began to race. It would be like being home. Except this time was it. This time was the last year, my big bang out of school. My hands began to shake as I realized that I'd be learning again. Not just remembering spells for survival and healing. I'd be _learning_. God, how I'd missed learning.

We ventured back out into the hall and I noticed the conversations in the hall again, many voices talking, so many bodies trying to get through the same hall. People jostling me left and right, Ginny whispering a joke in my ear. I sighed in satisfaction. Everything was as if I'd never said goodbye.

A/N: On my lessening updates: Please see my profile.


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